What if Frustration Was Just an Indicator? 3 Ways to Dig Deeper FTH: 081


Frustration is a funny word.

It means a lot of different things to different people, even though it has one definition.

My therapist had a great definition of frustration:

Frustration is simply attempting to control something over which we have no control.

For the sake of this episode, we’re going to focus strictly on what frustration can look and feel like in your business.

I’m also going to give you 3 ways you can take your frustration to dig a little deeper and get better at what you do.

This episode was inspired by a coaching client.

She messaged me about her Black Friday Cyber Monday offer, which she had worked extremely hard on (in other words, she’s doing the work).

The campaign was set to go out over 4 days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday, & Monday of the holiday weekend).

After the first 2 days and no sales, she messaged me that she was having an “insecurity attack” and even though she knew the people on her list weren’t the right people, she was really frustrated.

The day prior she was excited that even though no one bought it, she knew she was on the right path.

I’m going to give you a little context about where she was when we started working together (not her niche, market, or name, but you’ll have enough to understand).

When we started working together she knew she wanted to focus on a different market. Very similar work, but the message and audience needed to be changed.

In addition to some website changes, we started working on a new email opt-in offer (this is a long sequence based on the ‘Lesson, Bridge, Pitch, Survey’ strategy by Brennan Dunn): 9 emails with a very specific purpose, followed by an offer to purchase, followed by a survey to those who didn’t purchase.

Then we worked on the BFCM offer.

More emails, product images, sales page set up, etc.

A lot of work, right?

Here’s the thing…

She’s JUST getting started!

Where she was to where she is today is like night and day. She has been working extremely hard to build a solid foundation for her business.

It’s kind of like how working out and eating healthy feels if you’re trying to lose weight. You know your body is feeling better, your energy is better, your sleep is better, and maybe you’ve lost a few pounds.

Then you step on the scale a couple of months in and the number hasn’t moved.

Maybe even the inches haven’t dropped yet.

Does that mean that the two months prior, with everything you’ve accomplished aren’t worth anything?

Absolutely not.

You’ve created new habits and are establishing a level of trust within yourself that no scale can take away (nor does it determine your worth and value).

This is the biggest challenge with online businesses.

It “seems” like everyone else is having success.

But we don’t know how many times the person we’re comparing ourselves to has failed. Nor do we know how much work has been put into the knowledge and skills they have today.

Here’s an example:

I’ve made a couple of BFCM purchases. All have to do with writing.

The first was that I signed up for the Ship30for30 training starting in January 2022. The reason I did this is because of my commitment to a daily writing practice.

I thoroughly enjoy writing and want to get better at it so it becomes a primary source for traffic, content, and sales.

That training is going to help me create frameworks and practice writing on other platforms (my site and emails come easily now so this will help me write on other platforms. More on that in another episode).

Then this morning I signed up for Copy School by CopyHackers!

I’ve followed them for a while but hadn’t purchased anything. I don’t have any desire to become a copywriter for hire or write copy for other people (although I do help my coaching clients & students with their copy).

I simply want to dig deeper and get better at copywriting.

I want to be able to produce amazing copy, be it sales pages, emails, content, etc.

I firmly believe that learning to write well online is the best thing you can do for your business (and if you hate it, find someone who can be on your team that loves it. It’s more important than almost everything else you do. Yep, I said it).

Now…let’s get back to my point.

Just because I’m taking these courses (and HOLY MOLY there is a TON of content in CopySchool. This will def be an ongoing process) doesn’t mean I’ll be able to get the results that Joanna Wiebe gets.

I don’t have specific numbers on how much she’s written, produced, or taught… but it’s a HELLUVA lot.

Nor do I think I’ll get the same results Dickie Bush or Nicolas Cole have gotten when I complete the Ship30for30 program in January.

I’ve purchased these courses to get better at what I’m doing knowing it won’t immediately impact my bottom line.

Before I go any further (and we get into the 3 Ways to Dig Deeper), I want to clarify that my coaching client was NOT expecting immediate results.

Nor was she expecting to pay the mortgage with sales from this weekend.

She was, however, hopeful.

And I know that feeling. I’ve been where she is plenty of times myself.

The difference is when I hit that place today it doesn’t hit me as hard. In fact, it’s a little bit of a bummer but I don’t give it much thought beyond that.

Instead, I step back, leave it alone, and wait until I’m in a better mental place.

Since I started writing this podcast post she’s had 2 sales.

This is a perfect example of allowing our minds to mess with us.

It’s like taking a road trip, getting halfway there, and then getting upset because you’re not at your destination.

3 Ways to Dig Deeper

When things don’t go how we planned, instead of deciding to throw the baby out with the bathwater it’s time to do a little Entrepreneurial Adulting and look at every piece of the puzzle.

First, Build Your Foundation


I’ve included a visual for “Your Foundation” in the actual post, so be sure to go to the post to see that.

Each of these elements goes much deeper but I’m going to explain them in bullets below and a little deeper for those of you listening.

First, your Brand & Business are at the top.

Below your business and brand are the 3 fundamentals:

  1. A web property you own
  2. Content: what and where you will create and publish
  3. Traffic strategies

All 3 of those will lead to your offers: i.e., your products and services.

Here are the basics and fundamentals of each of those:

Web property you own:

  • SEO
  • Responsive/speed
  • Sitemap /site structure
  • Quality site that is easy for your visitors to navigate
  • Clear messaging: what you do and who you help


If you’re in this for the long game (which I know you are otherwise why would you be here), you need to create content.

You need to create it consistently (even if that’s once a month. It will take you longer, but keep at it until you can produce more) and it needs to be based on a strategy.

From there, you need to promote it. Pick the platforms and methodology that work for YOU and stick with it.

Have a call to action anywhere you produce content on your site and make sure you include direct calls to action on social as well (get people on your list).

Traffic Strategies:

Unfortunately, this tends to get ignored too often and it’s probably the most important.

Nothing you create or sell will do anything without a solid traffic strategy in place. And no, this doesn’t mean you have to jump into paid traffic right away.

However, paid traffic will get you there exponentially faster.

But get something converting organically first so you know it has a better chance of converting when you put money behind it.

Get really honest with yourself about this.

What are you doing consistently to drive traffic to your site/opt-in offer?

Next, look at your skillset.

If what you’re offering isn’t resonating with your audience, you probably need to focus on getting better and marketing.

I know a lot of people don’t want to hear that, but this is WORK.

It takes practice and a commitment to get better at what you’re doing.

I completely understand that a lot of people listening might be thinking "I don't want to be a marketer! I want to do what I do best, which isn't marketing!"

Insert your zone of genius into the above sentence.

Here’s the deal:

Suck it up buttercup.

This is called bootstrapping.

If you don’t have the funds to hire people right off the bat then you’re going to have to learn, study, and practice marketing.

There aren’t any shortcuts.

What you CAN do though is pick one thing to start with and get better at it.

Buy a book, go to YouTube, find accountability partners, whatever works best for you.


Stop expending so much time and energy whinging about what isn’t working, why people aren’t buying from you, etc. ALL of marketing is a numbers game.

The more you do something, the better you get.

The more offers you put out, the more likely you are to sell something.

The more you promote yourself, the more subscribers you’ll get, and the more offers you can send.

Once you’ve done things a LOT and have plenty of data, then you realize that “more” isn’t always the answer.


Doing better work, creating better systems, funnels, processes, whatever…

Of course, you want to do the best you can where you’re at, but know that the more you do the better you will get.

Lastly, and probably most important is to manage your mind.

I am such a firm believer in learning to manage your mind.

This has (and is), making the biggest difference in my business AND my life.

So much so that I did an entire podcast episode on the subject (you can listen to that here).

Choose to look at everything you experience and go through in your business and simply part of the process. You’re going to have challenges, obstacles, wins, and losses.

It is never a straight line.


It’s how you choose to handle everything that comes up that makes the biggest difference.

So when you find yourself going sideways or defaulting to old thoughts and behaviors, make a conscious decision to NOT feed those thoughts.

Feel the feelings, don’t assign it any ‘meaning’, and allow yourself the time and space you need to get back on track.

The less storytelling you do (looking for evidence of the bullshit you tell yourself), the faster you’ll move through whatever it is you’re feeling.

You will NOT stay here.

I promise.

Make this work part of your daily life.

Whether that’s meditating, exercise, music, reading, therapy, surrounding yourself with people who align with the energy you want…

Make it a priority.

Remind yourself that you chose to become an entrepreneur.

None of this is about pushing yourself… be easy about what you want and approach it more methodically. Your feelings are just feelings.

They’re not an indicator of your value or what you’re creating.


Once you’ve dug deeper, you’ll probably cycle back around every single time you level up.

It’s simply part of the process.

I believe in YOU!

Links from this episode:

2021 Reflection Exercise: 3 Questions to Maximize Health, Wealth, and Happiness by Nicolas Cole

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