 the SPARK 140 ~ Ignore the cheap seats
A few months ago, a dear friend invited me to a 3-day music event in Napa called Bottlerock.
It’s a big deal; she buys VIP tickets through her business.
She reached out asking if my sister and I wanted to come (my sister works for a major alcohol company and has been to Bottlerock for work and loves it).
This was a couple of days after I found out I had Shingles, so I told her it was a maybe for me.
I didn’t end up going, so my sister & a friend went together.
Here’s the crazy thing…
From the moment she asked me, nothing in me wanted to go, but I said yes because I didn’t want to disappoint my friend (who, by the way, would have been fine if I had said no).
The truth is I’m not a huge fan of big events or live music.
I’ve only been to a handful of concerts, and I was much younger when I went.
I don’t know if it’s an age thing or if I’ve just become more auditorily sensitive, but big events and live music make me feel like my brain is being accosted (how’s that for dramatic? 😉).
My initial reaction to saying yes was that I was on autopilot.
Which then turned into judgment… “Why don’t I like these types of events that everyone else seems to love?”
My logical brain knows none of this matters… but the niggly people-pleasing voice can be pretty loud at times.
Then I look at how often I’ve done the same thing in my business.
Does any of this sound familiar?
- Tried a new tactic because everyone else was getting results (Twitter templates, anyone? These make me cringe. They NEVER sound like something I’d say)
- Jumped into a new tool/software/app because it was fun (i.e., a distraction)
- Invested in something because I thought, “THIS is it! THIS will be the game-changer!”
- Collaborated with someone, ignoring red flags (this happened a LOT in the first few years of my business)
- Wasted time creating something far more complicated than necessary… because that’s what all the productivity gurus preach
- Said yes when everything in me wanted to say no
- Stuck with something longer than I wanted to/should have because you’d already invested all this time in it
- Held back from niching down out of fear
As trite as it might sound, I have no regrets in any of these situations. Each experience brought me to where I am today.
Every program, course, or mentor I’ve invested in has taught me something, and I trust that.
What I’ve realized with this “fierce focus” time I’m in is that I’m building an entirely new foundation.
And it takes courage.
Maybe this is the ’midlife unraveling’ that Brené Brown talks about:
Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think.
At some point, you say, “Enough.”
And you choose YOU.
You let go of the things that no longer serve you, and you add in the things that light you up.
You realize you do have the courage and the discipline to create exactly what you want.
To wrap this up, let’s use one more Brené Brown quote:
“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion, I am not interested in or open to your feedback. There are a million cheap seats in the world today filled with people who will never be brave with their own lives but will spend every ounce of energy they have hurling advice and judgment at those of us trying to dare greatly. Their only contributions are criticism, cynicism, and fear-mongering. If you’re criticizing from a place where you’re not also putting yourself on the line, I’m not interested in your feedback.”
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Ha! Totally me 
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Have a wonderful day, my friends,
Kim
