Kick Shame to the Curb and Explode Your Business KDS: 052October 5, 2020 October 6, 2020 /
One of the best things about getting older (ideally), is that we start lining up more with who we truly are and what we really want our lives to look like.
During this little sabbatical from the podcast, I’ve been doing a lot of internal work.
Both for myself and for my business.
This all started about four and a half months ago when I made a conscious decision that I wanted to raise my vibration and energy. I know this isn’t something I’ve talked much about on the podcast, or even publicly as it relates to my business, but that changes now.
I live my life from this place and it’s all part of showing up, isn’t it?
When I made the decision to raise my vibration I had no idea what that looked like or what it meant, but I felt a strong calling to step into something more, for lack of a better word.
Fortunately, I have a therapist who also believes in energy and vibration and I knew that was where I wanted to start. I told her I wanted to work on raising my vibration, I had no idea what that meant and asked for weekly calls.
It’s been an amazing few months, to say the least.
What started out with a simple intention led to paths that surprised me, scared me, but most importantly, opened me up to even more possibility.
Whether it’s a therapist, mentor, coach, or a dear friend. Find someone who believes in you, challenges you, and reminds you that your dreams are worth pursuing.
Here’s the fun part…
Doing this work inspired me to doodle, write, and find creative ways to express what I’m feeling. I’m a very visual person and anytime I can connect an image to a thought or feeling things start to shift.
The ability to reframe something that seemingly felt like it was immovable is exhilarating.
Fast forward to the last couple of weeks and I doodled something that I think can help you in your business.
In fact, this podcast was inspired by that doodle and the encouragement of my therapist to share it, because it may just help someone.
My doodle, of course, is about shame.
Shame is one of those things that runs deep and we’re not really aware of how much of our behavior is dictated by shame.
If you haven’t seen the infamous TED talk from Brene’ Brown on shame and vulnerability, then take the time to watch this.
Back to my doodle…
In a recent call with my therapist, we were discussing something that I thought I felt shame around and she said that the shame seemed “manufactured.”
In other words, was it really my truth?
It hit me like a ton of bricks.
And I realized that I thought I was supposed to feel shame about the topic we were talking about, but in reality, I didn’t.
A day or two later I was out back playing ball with my dogs, listening to my call with her (I record them, because duh) and the image below hit me like a ton of bricks.
For those of you who are listening and can’t see the image, let me explain the doodle.
It’s of a factory machine that has a conveyer belt where you put something on the belt at the beginning, it goes through the machine, and it’s transformed into something different when it comes out.
In this case, what comes out is the actual word ‘SHAME’, which then is immediately dumped into a garbage can at the end of the conveyor belt labeled ‘TOXIC WASTE’.
The items on the belt that are going into the machine (that produce the shame), look kind of like blobs (think of the poop emoji).
Each blob has text on it explaining what it is. For me, it’s judgment, old beliefs, and religion.
The doodle is simply labeled ‘Manufactured Shame.’
All of a sudden I realized that the shame I felt wasn’t ME… it was external influences that I had given way too much power to.
I will literally never look at shame the same way again.
If I had more room I’d add a few items to the conveyor belt such as other people’s opinions, expectations, and societal norms.
The toxic waste garbage can felt like a big F-U to all those things I’ve allowed to get in my way, rent space in my head, and influence how I feel about myself.
Now that the doodle is out of my head and on paper, I don’t feel quite as much ‘F-U’ as I do “aaah…”.
Like I’ve come home to myself.
What does shame have to do with your business?
For the love of all that is good in the world, there is SO much noise and information coming at us constantly, not to mention how we should or shouldn’t be handling living through a pandemic, it’s hard to escape external influences sometimes.
I would wager that most entrepreneurs have either felt this or feel it: I should be doing MORE.
I should be earning more.
I should be posting and creating more.
Why aren’t I having million-dollar launches?
Why does it seem like everyone else is ‘making it’ and I’m not?
Why do the platforms I’m supposed to be using make me cringe sometimes?
I don’t have enough time.
I want to work on MY stuff (for all you service providers out there).
I could go on and on with this list, but you get the point.
I rarely quote Tony Robbins, but one thing I remember is something he said years ago and it was “you should all over yourself 💩.”
It’s freaking exhausting.
And don’t ask me why, but another quote popped in my head from the late, great Zig Ziglar (yes, I consumed all these motivational ‘tapes’ back in the 90’s…). Well, it’s not quite a quote, but you get the point.
“When you’re at work you feel like you should be spending more time at home. When you’re at home, you feel like you should be working. No wonder you never get anything done, you’re always traveling.”
You have to take the time to get really clear on what you want your business to look like in terms of your LIFE.
If you haven’t seen the documentary, The Social Dilemma, on Netflix, it’s worth the watch. It’s enlightening and a little bit scary at the same time. Keep in mind though it’s very slanted… meaning, it’s not really a true documentary in terms of being objective.
It’s told from one side only.
Back to shame in your business.
You are the ONLY one that can decide what works for you.
No mentor, coach, or course is the right answer for everyone.
As I’ve been trying to get clear on what my personal brand looks like along with Content Creators Planner (since they both address content marketing), what has become glaringly apparent to me is that I’m being called to #JustShowUP.
This feels a little ironic considering I’ve been preaching about showing up for years now, but the truth is that we don’t know what we don’t know.
I joke with my therapist that it took me ‘X’ amount of years to finally start talking about certain things with her, but as she reminded me, a lot of that work happens on a different timetable, which isn’t usually ours.
It’s the old saying “when the student is ready the teacher appears.”
Sometimes the teacher is yourself.
You’ve grown in your business, you have more experience and skills, and you know you’re ready for more.
Whatever that ‘more’ looks like is up to you.
Here’s an example:
In the last year, I’ve been preaching quite a bit about the value of becoming a better writer. This has been life-changing for me.
I never considered myself a bad writer, but it wasn’t until I began podcasting and knew I needed to write out my solo episodes prior to recording that I really found my voice.
On one hand, it felt like a happy accident, on the other, I believe it was divine timing. I was ready to start ‘showing up’.
Obviously, the more I practiced, the better I got.
In the last couple of years, I’ve started really appreciating copywriting and the immense impact it can have on your business. In fact, I’m such a convert now I would say that copy is absolutely the determining factor in how well something converts.
It wasn’t until Jodi and I spent hours getting clear on who we served, the problem we solved, and the result people would get that things started to click into place.
Now I’m studying copywriting.
BUT… no matter how many times I heard how important copywriting was it wasn’t until I was ready to do the work that things fell into place.
THIS is how you kick shame to the curb.
You OWN your truth.
You get clear on what you want your life and business to look like and you do whatever it takes to stay in alignment with what feels right for you.
You stop judging yourself for what you should have done, where you are or aren’t, and you don’t compare yourself to where anyone else appears to be (remember, most people are only showing the ‘highlight reel’).
Now that the clarity has kicked in and shame doesn’t have the same hold on me that it did, the world is my oyster.
I’ve set the intention to do more doodling/drawing for clarity. I can’t force it and know that it will evolve, organically as it should.
It’s amazing to me that when I do the internal work things show up in my external world that blows my mind.
The right people, opportunities, money, and most importantly, peace and contentment. Which are priceless.
Ask yourself, what would your business (and life) look like if you didn’t hold onto other people’s expectations, societal rules, or what other people are doing?
What would you do?
What would you create?
Who would you talk to and how would you spend your time?
Literally take the time to map this out.
One of my favorite exercises is a Frank Kern exercise. Map out what your ideal ‘everyday’ day looks like.
You might be surprised to find that you’re not that far from it.
Lastly, let me know if this resonates with you, and of course, if you take the time to map some of this out feel free to share it.
Until next time.
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