In Loving Memory & A Personal Message of Hope
Today’s post is going to be a little bit different.
Let me preface it by saying this isn’t going to be a downer, quite the opposite (fingers crossed, that’s my intention).
Many of you know my personal story but I’m sure some of you don’t.
On May 7th, 2003, I received the call. The call I never thought I’d receive and one that changed my life forever.
This was the day I was told my husband had died in a car accident, coming home from work.
It happened to be my day off (I was a full-time store manager for HomeGoods) and I was out shopping for Mother’s Day cards.
My husband worked night shifts and when I woke up and he wasn’t home I thought maybe he had gone to a friend’s house, not common, but not really out of the ordinary either. I left him a voicemail and went about my day.
When my brother called me around 10 am I knew in my gut something awful had happened.
I was in the Hallmark store and remember feeling like the world around me stopped.
It was without a doubt the darkest day of my life.
My daughter was 6 at the time and my son was 2 1/2. I couldn’t fathom how I was going to explain what had happened to Daddy.
But I did.
Somehow I managed to get through that day, his service, and the following years.
Fast forward to today and my life is really, really good.
I never thought May 7th would roll around and I’d be able to wake up like it was a normal day.
I used to plan something for the anniversary every year. The first 6 or 7 years this was vitally important to me. I didn’t want the kids to forget and I needed to feel like I was honoring what we had.
As trite as it sounds, time does heal.
There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss him. I’ve been fortunate to have loving relationships in my life since then but haven’t found the guy that will be that lifetime partner yet.
That’s O.K., he’s out there somewhere.
To wake up today and not have the anniversary be the first thing on my mind was a blessing.
There is no way 14 years ago that I would have pictured my life as it is today.
I made a conscious choice 9 years ago to start my business so I could be around for my kids and do something that felt fulfilling.
Something that was mine.
I always knew there was something else I was supposed to do with my life. I know without a doubt I’ve found it.
It’s taken me longer than I expected (the true beauty of ignorance is bliss), but it’s been so worth it. The ups & downs, the financial challenges, the fears, the doubts…. all of it.
I wanted to share this with you today to remind you that no matter what you’re going through, you will get through it.
Let your voice be the only one that matters.
Know that the dark moments come, but you won’t stay there.
When you need a break?
When you feel inspired to do something? Go in a different direction?
The more I talk with people the more I realize we all have our own sh*t, we just don’t talk about it.
I also wanted to share this to say Thank You.
Thank you for being on this journey with me, sticking around with all the experimenting, testing, ranting, and changes in direction.
To say my heart feels full because of you would be an understatement.
I still have my dark moments. Then I get an email from someone who says I’ve inspired them. And my soul feels renewed and I get back on my path.
We live in some pretty amazing and crazy times right now.
The one thing that keeps me grounded is my connections.
My family, my friends, and YOU.
Know that no matter what happens, your dreams are worth pursuing.
With much appreciation,