Gratitude & Retiring the Hustle WPCP: 081November 26, 2015 September 28, 2020 /
It’s about that time of year again.
No, I’m not referring to the holidays, even though they’re quickly approaching.
I’m referring to that time of year when I need to take a step back, take some time for myself and do a little reflecting. In the almost 8 years that I’ve been doing this ‘online thing,’ this feeling hasn’t ever hit me until after Christmas. That time between Christmas and the New Year when rest feels like a reward (as opposed to necessity). The excitement of the New Year starts kicking in and you feel like anything is possible (again, I think I really was Pollyanna in a previous life).
For some reason, though it’s hit me much earlier this year.
I found myself really overwhelmed, which then lead to frustration, tears, and a little bit of a collapse.
Fortunately, I know I don’t stay in that place for very long, even though it feels somewhat debilitating when you’re in it. I’m on the tail end of that now so it’s much easier to share this with you (I’m not much of a sharer when I’m in that space). I’ve gotten much better about making decisions when I’m in that space… as in, I don’t make decisions when I’m there. I’m grateful to have my therapist in my life still to turn to when that overwhelm kicks in as well as great friends and family.
So before I get into my little ‘collapse’ and much needed time for reflection, I’m going to start this episode with some gratitude.
First, a VERY Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the U.S. I hope you get some quality time with your family and loved ones. Even though I adore Christmas, the lack of pressure on Thanksgiving is sooooo appreciated!
I want to give a shout out to some of my recent reviewers (listen to the episode) and promise to be better at these acknowledgments in the future. Truly, it means the world to me to hear from you that you like the show and appreciate what I do. I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned this on the show before, but public speaking (more specifically, motivational speaking) is always something I wanted to do. I was a speech major in college for a little while (long story) and have always loved getting in front of people sharing from the heart. I truly believe podcasting has given me the ideal platform to do this from (and stay tuned because I AM launching another show, #justshowup).
I’m so grateful to all of you who continue to read my content, listen to the podcast, and attend my webinars. It feels a little hokey to say this but my audience really drives me to create more of what I love doing, so Thank You.
Without writing out lengthy, mushy sentences, I’m going to bullet point the things I’m grateful for:
- My kids
- My family
- My dogs
- My friends
- My business
- The quality of my life
- My mastermind & mentors
- My clients
- Noise-canceling headphones
- The Noizio app
- Green juice
- My therapist/mentor
- My home
- The rain… that is supposedly coming to California this winter (I’m setting the intention that it does)
Seems kind of basic, huh?
I am SO all about simplifying my life… seeing that in writing actually makes me really, really happy.
Which is part of what has helped me move through whatever it is I’ve been going through the last couple of weeks.
Retiring the Hustle
I literally put that under my Skype name.
I’m SO over the push, the fight, the intensity of “getting shit done”.
It’s not how I move through my life. I’ve done that and I have to tell you it doesn’t work for me anymore. I used to be SO ‘type A’. I took pride in being busy and have a ton on my plate. Need something done? I’ll do it! I never, ever stopped. When I look back to certain periods in my life after my husband passed away I wonder how on earth I did what I did! In many ways, I know that who I was then is exactly how I got through the darkest period in my life. I think if I weren’t busy I would have wanted to just check out for a while (and there were times when I did want to check out, fortunately, they didn’t last).
Before we get into specifics, I want to share the actual definition of the word hustle because the truth is that neither definition is positive.
No wonder I have an aversion to this word.
But that’s beside the point.
Clearly, I have some strong feelings attached to this.
My guess is it’s because I’ve worked my ass off since I started working at a young age. I’ve raised my kids by myself for the last 12 years (bear with me, I’m doing everything I can NOT be a martyr here) and am simply TIRED. Not necessarily physically tired, but tired of pushing and squeezing something into every empty moment I have (I don’t anymore).
Life for me is about TRUST now.
Trusting myself that I know what is best for me and that I will take inspired action to get things accomplished.
In a recent conversation with my therapist, she was telling me about an anthropologist who said as women enter middle age (which, as hard as it was to admit, I am there) we start coming back to our natural pace & rhythm, which is slow to medium paced. Not hustling.
I’m going to share a little example of how this has impacted me and what I’m doing about it.
I’ve shared a lot of stories with you guys about my mastermind I’m in, EMPIRE. I absolutely love and adore my mentors and fellow masterminders. I’ve recently started feeling pressure to do and be something on a timeline that doesn’t work for me. BUT… before I go any further, let me clarify this by saying it was pressure I was putting on myself. I’ve never received anything but love and support from everyone in EMPIRE. However, I find myself comparing myself to what other people are doing and where they’re at (when you hang around people earning multiple 6 figures a month if you’re not grounded it’s going to have an impact).
Which is where I found myself.
Feeling completely ungrounded and not sure of where I was going and how I wanted to get there.
What I was clear on though was that I had better start doing things in a way that worked for ME.
Which right now, means taking some time off.
Not necessarily time off from my business (although I don’t work the last couple weeks in December.. I spent way too many years working 6 days a week in retail management and I relax and enjoy this time of year), but time off from expectations.
My OWN expectations.
Expectations that I should be doing more or something else.
Kim, I havent read this book yet, but read an excerpt of it – this may relate to what you are talking about – Here’s the excerpt and book title/author:
“From Greg McKeown’s “Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less”, I learned the importance of saying no, of focusing only on the few things that matter and not being busy.”
I need to go take 3 months to catch up on my reading! haha… I think I actually have that book (what does that tell you? Kindle makes it too easy to grab every book I want to read). I’m getting MUCH better at saying No. The last month has had some invaluable lessons in saying no and trusting myself. That’s my plan for 2016! That and having more FUN!